Earth

Never in my life have I encountered something so dumb as the planet Earth. Dude seriously, when she first started out I was into it and I thought a lot of her ideas were really good. Now it just seems that all of her songs are about the same stuff. And what the hell is up with things like tornadoes, famine, and sea monsters? I can't believe that shit goes on.

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE WATER SLIDES, DUDE.

I went there last week after work and wanted to unwind, kick back, maybe jump off some rocks into the river, when all of a sudden I was completely surrounded by life. Ew! Gross! It was SO unbearable! There were birds and trees and oxygen and water and I was completely weirded out. Plus the service was SO shitty.

I give the third planet farthest from the Sun:

99 degrees out of 100 degrees of ass gas